Title: The Never Gonna Be Good Enough
Club
Author: Wonderland
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em, wish I did, you know who does, yadda, yadda, yadda
Summary: The new kids contemplate the past and the future
Season/Spoiler info: Forever in a Day, Fallen, Homecoming, Shades of Gray
That, Cameron Mitchell speculated just
a bit fearfully, was a sight one did not see everyday. Dr. Caroline Lam and
Vala Mal Doran, squeezed under the one and only tree in Jackson’s backyard
with, he winced visibly, two deck chairs and a bottle of wine. And from the
looks of things, it wasn’t bottle number one.
He killed his whiskey, refilled the
glass and then, with a shrug, just grabbed the bottle and strolled over.
“Cameron!” Vala shouted. “Come, sit
with us. You can join the club!”
He flopped down between the two of
them. “And what club would that be?”
“The Never Gonna Be Good Enough Club.
Right now Caroline and I are the only members but we’ll gladly accept your
application.” He blinked at the way she pronounced application. Yeah, good and
drunk, the both of them.
“Never gonna be good enough? So what’s
the membership requirement?”
“You just have to replace someone who’s
perfect.” Vala leaned dangerously over in her chair to confide. “You’d be
perfect, except you’re not, you know, perfect.” Obviously, she and Lam thought
that was hilarious, because they clinked their plastic wineglasses together and
toasted each other.
“Okay, you’re going to have to explain
this little club to me.” And he suspected this called for yet another drink, which
he generously poured himself.
“Vala and I decided that we’re doomed
to fail. Because we’re up against perfection. I have to follow Dr. Fraiser, who
is practically hallowed in the halls of the SGC.”
“And I’m never gonna be Sha’re.” Vala
mourned with a hiccup over that last word. “And you? I mean, you’re good and
all that, but face it, you’re no Jack O’Neill.’
By accord, they all turned to stare at
Daniel’s back deck, at the original SG-1. Daniel was currently losing the fight
over grilling duties to the visiting Jack O’Neill. Teal’c and Sam were only
adding fuel to the fire by taking sides. “I mean, just look at them.” Vala
pointed an accusing finger.
“Cool kids table,” Caroline finally
spoke into the long silence. “And they didn’t even ask us to sit with them.”
Vala didn’t understand but she nodded
emphatically. “And just look at your father.”
Caroline glared at Landry, who was
advising the victorious O’Neill on his grilling technique. “Traitor,” she
pronounced crossly. “We’re even thinking about getting some little patches made
for our uniforms. You know, with a skull and crossbones or something equally
grim.”
Cameron snickered. “Do you two hear
yourselves? Sound like a couple of high school girls.”
“Oh, yeah, and I suppose it doesn’t
bother you every time Daniel says ‘well, Jack did this’ or Sam says ‘General
O’Neill would never do that.’?”
“Not in the least,” he took a good long
drink.
“You’re a liar, Cameron Mitchell, and
not even a good one,” Vala sneered. “We’re beat before we even start. Sha’re died
saving Daniel. No matter how many shots I take from the Ori, I’m never gonna
equal that.”
“And Dr. Fraiser died in the field.
I’ve only been through the gate one time. And I was absolutely no good to
anyone.” The two women looked at each other balefully then refilled their
glasses. “And do you know how many times Jack O’Neill got hurt or killed
defending his team?” Caroline snorted loudly. “You’re even more screwed than we
are.”
Cameron looked into his empty glass.
“Well, hell, when you put it that way.” He abandoned his glass and took the
next drink out of the bottle. “I’ve been a good leader of SG-1.” Even to his
ears, it sounded weak and whiny.
“Keep telling yourself that, darling.”
Vala petted his arm. “And I don’t see Teal’c giving any of us a cute little
nickname like he did for Daniel.”
“Face it, SG-1 is an exclusive club to
which we’re never going to get invited.”
“Hay,” Cameron was grasping at straws.
“They had that guy-what was his name?-the year Jackson was ascended.”
Vala laughed out loud. “And as soon as
they got darling Daniel back, they shoved him through the wormhole so fast, he
busted his ass on the other side.” Caroline flopped back and giggled, flinging
wine all over Cameron. “Makepeace took over when O’Neill went undercover and
they put him in prison.” She nodded sagely. “Let that be a lesson to
you, Cameron Mitchell.”
“How do you know this stuff?” Cameron
squinted at her fuzzily.
“I sneaked into the computer.”
“Hacked,” Caroline corrected helpfully.
“You hacked into the computer.”
“Thank you, darling. I hacked into the computer in Daniels’s office and read
all about it.”
They all fell silent, contemplating
their bleak future. “I’m going to end up at Area 51, in a cell.” Vala predicted
gloomily.
“I’ll be working the ER in some gang
infested neighborhood.” Caroline tipped up the empty bottle. “Damn, we’re out.”
“Here,” Cameron split what was left of
his whiskey between the three of them. “And I guess I’ll end up in some no-name
base with a one lane airstrip.”
They sat morosely, drinking.
*
“When, I ask you, Daniel, was the last
time you saw such a sight?” Cameron squinted up at a voice that sounded
suspiciously like Jack O’Neill.
“Oh, probably the last time we all got
drunk together.” Daniel slid his arms around Vala’s waist. “Come on, up you
go.”
Her long arms looped around him. “Where
we going?”
Daniel blinked at the alcohol-laced
breath. “You’re going inside and lie down where you’ll be comfy. And where
there will be a nice garbage can close at hand. Just in case.”
“You’re so cute, Daniel Jackson.” Her
lips missed his and landed on his jaw; her hand, however, unerringly found his
ass.
Instead of getting mad, Daniel just
chuckled. “In the state you’re in, I doubt if you could stay awake long enough
to try anything.” He led her staggering away.
“Teal’c, if you’d help me with
Caroline, I think we can get her home.”
“I will be glad to assist, General
Landry.” Teal’c lifted her easily and between the two of them, they walked her
to the general’s car.
“Okay, Carter, I guess you and I get
Mitchell.” Jack got one arm and Sam got the other. “Oof, he’s heavier than he
looks.” They finally got him off the ground and looping his arms across their
shoulders, started shuffling through the grass. “What are we going to do with
him?”
“Why don’t you help him to my car, sir?
I think I can get him to his apartment, unless he passes out and he’s not going
to do that, are you, Cam?” Jack helped her dump him in her car and belt him in.
“General…”
“I’m just gonna hang out here and defend
Daniel’s honor.”
Sam chuckled as she slid the car into
gear. “Good luck, sir, she can be quite a handful.”
“Sam,” Cam asked as she made a right at
the end of Daniel’s street. “Can I sit at the cool kids’ table?”
Reaching over, she patted his knee. “Of
course you can, Cam.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, that’s what friends do
for each other, right?”
“Right,” he grinned at her just to see
her smile back. “That’s what friends do.”